Well, we’re back in our apartment after our brief stay in the woods and my dog is annoying the SHIT out of me. There, he’d wake up every morning at 7am, run out and not come back until it was time to eat dinner. Here, I take him on a one-hour walk a day and a few potty breaks on a leash. He’s sooooooooo upset that we’re back, poor thing. 

Oh well, guess that gives me more motivation to look for a house with a fenced yard to rent. It sure was nice to just have his little ass outside without worry all day :/

Why has nobody ever told me about Farscape??? That’st exactly the kind of scifi cheese I’ve been looking for. 

This “super moon” stuff is bullshit. I looked and it looks exactly the same fucking size. I feel cheated! Last time it was cloudy!

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Finished my House rewatch. What a great show *sheds tear*. Season 8 dragged quite a bit at first, but the last three or four episodes were great again and the ending made it all worthwhile. 

Let’s play a game, it’s called Hey, do I really like these clothes or do I just think they look good because the model is skinny? Because I keep forgetting I’m not skinny anymore and can’t just wear whatever the fuck I want of the rack.

Righty-o, I just sat here for half an hour, squinting hard, because I thought my vision was going blurry from the monitor or something. Turns out I had lotion caught in my lashes and that’s what was obscuring my vision. 

:I

I’m going to sleep.

I keep trying to read the Rita Skeeter article and I just. cannot. get through it. It’s like the magic is just gone :(. Maybe it’s time for a HP reread.

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Just got to ‘the’ Kutner episode. :((

Gonna watch Harold and Kumar to recover.

Just got to the part in House where he needs to hire a new team. All the baby doctors I love! Kutner! Amber! 13! *cries big tears about their futures*

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Had a tooth pulled, a bone graft done and two teeth filled today, so my plan for the night is to finish this bottle of wine, pop another Vicodin and then pass out without brushing my teeth.

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I’m rewatching House and the scene where House, half out of his mind after an induced coma, demonstrates the surgical robot on Cameron is one of the goddamn sexiest scenes in the whole show. How??

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Well, sounds like my neighbors are fucking again. Great. Go them.

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Today, my dog killed a baby bird, one of my tadpoles went belly up for no discernible reason and I gave myself a migraine by not eating enough and then going in the sun. Like I do once a week when it’s hot out, you’d think I knew better by now! So yeah, bit of a downer today. :/

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Ugh, I’m having a mild but escalating anxiety attack over finances. I have this old, OLD (over ten years) student loan that I’ve defaulted upon because I was living out of the country for a while. It’s not huge, less than $4000, and because we’re looking to buy a house now I’ve contacted the collection agency and said I’d be willing to pay of a percentage of the entire amount right away, so they submitted my offer to the company. 

So today I get this SUPER aggressive letter from the original loan company just having a total shit fit and demanding the money or they’ll garnish my wages (what wages?) and it’s just super mean and attacking and I am *willing* to pay the fucking thing, why do they have to be such complete assholes about it? I guess I’ll call them tomorrow and deal with this but in the meantime, I am too freaked out about it to sleep. I fucking hate money. Can I just pay everything off and go live in a hut in Alaska?

Ugh, I don’t know what to do any more. I put my kid to bed TWO hours ago (around 10 pm). He is STILL awake and he keeps coming out of his room to -go to the bathroom, get some water, get the second dog (the one that doesn’t usually sleep with him. He already has one in his bed!), tell me he’s thinking of scary stuff, to ask me to read a book, to get some more water, and just ON and ON. 

We have to get up at 7am tomorrow and it’s already after midnight. Poor kid has inherited my sleep disorder and I don’t know what to do. He gets plenty of exercise and good food. We were outside all afternoon, he was running around with his friend and they played in a fountain for hours. It doesn’t matter what time he gets up, he will drag out bedtime for aaaaaages. He just doesn’t get properly tired at night, when normal people do, and every since I can remember, neither did I. 

I used to work 13+ shifts at a vet and instead of sleeping enough, I’d stay up until 3am, crash for four hours, get up, go to work, run on adrenaline and sugar, then go home and be wide awake! Then, on my day off I’d pass out for 14 hours and then do it all again. It’s insane! I’ve tried melatonin, warm milk, not having caffeine (when I’m tired, I can drink a cup of coffee and go to sleep right away, so yeah), no electronics two hours before bed, warm baths, nothing helps! We’re just wired up wrong or something. My son has been like this since before he was born! He’d start in utero acrobatics at 1am on the dot every night once he was big enough to move around. 

So yeah, it leads to so much frustration though when we try to synch up with the rest of the world :/. If I could just live out on 40 acres somewhere with no ‘real life’ responsibilities I’d just sleep whenever and let him sleep whenever. But right now I need him to be asleep so I can drag my carcass out of bed tomorrow at 7am (at the latest) and go do stuff with other people and be pleasant. Ugh. Wish me luck.