Do you ever have completely irrational outbursts of seething anger out of nowhere? I’m in the middle of one of those, I think I snapped after my dog took a shit in the bathroom, and I’m having a hard time snapping out of it. Like, how FUCKING STUPID do you have to be to shit inside after two months of training, without giving me any sign other than whining a bit, which could also mean ‘I want whatever you’re eating’ or ‘I want on the couch’? I’m not a goddamn mindreader, dog!
Now everything is pissing me off - that it’s dark already, that my headphones are broken and we have close neighbors, so I can’t even turn on loud music to get my frustrations out, that we’re standing on cement, so there isn’t even anywhere to go for a walk now, oh, and also it’s DARK already, so we can’t leave the train lot for fear of rapists and drug dealers (yeah, we’re always parked in nice neighborhoods), how stinking small our “room” is (to give you an idea - there is just enough floor space for a large man to lie down without moving his arms from his side. Ask me how I know.) …. and and and
and I think I’m calming down a bit. But yeah. Every once in a while some little string in me just goes *ping* and a whole dirty mess of piled up little annoyance comes tumbling down all at once.
I need a cigarette.